CUT TO: Attic, part 1

For some reason, I was curious to see how many films used "attic" in the title. I was dumbfounded to learn how many there are! Who knew? And this is a condensed list. I'm thinking a film festival is in order.

Flowers in the Attic (1987)

Aliens in the Attic (2009)

The Attic Expeditions (2001)

Toys in the Attic (1963)

Angels in the Attic (1998)

Man in the Attic (1953)

The Attic Door (2009)

Music in the Attic (1950)

The Attic (1980)

The Attic (2008)

Watcher in the Attic (1976)

Rachel's Attic (2002)

Three in the Attic (1968)

Voices from the Attic (1988)

Na pude aneb Kdo má dneska narozeniny? Translation: "In the Attic or Who Has a Birthday
Today?" (2009) -

Alice's Attic (2009)

A Man in the Attic (2007)

Attic Man (2004)

Dreams in the Attic (2000)

Don’t Look in the Attic (1982)

Monkeys in the Attic (1974)

Notes from the Attic (1993)

The Axe in the Attic (2007)

Attic of Terror (1937)

The House with an Attic (1960)

Glass from the Attic (1986)

In the Old Attic (1914)

L'attico (1962)

Love in an Attic (1923)

Our Attic (2008)

The Secret in the Attic (2005)

Static in the Attic (1939) - not to be confused with the line "Static in my attic" from B-52's Channel Z.

The Angel of the Attic (1916)

The Attic (2009)

The Attic Above (1914)

The Attic Princess (1916)

The Haunted Attic (1915)

The Little Girl of the Attic (1915)

The Man in the Attic (1914)

The Man in the Attic (1915)

The Portrait in the Attic (1915)

There's a Werewolf in My Attic! (2008)

They Came from the Attic (2009)

Up in Mary's Attic (1920) - this just sounds like porno.

Up in the Attic (2009)

Woman in the Attic (2003)

I didn't even bother to include TV shows with "attic" in the title, though I did come across a 2003 show from the Philippines called Oktapbang goyangi (Attic Cat) described as a show about "a rich lost-in-life college boy who wants the sexy rich girl who wants the successful business man who wants the poor but responsible girl who wants the rich lost-in-life college boy."

Fast-Talking Dolphin

"Eric Anderson can't believe his eyes—or his ears! What is a dolphin, a rhyme-talking dolphin, doing in a New England trout pond? Simple. Wallingford Ullingham Lowell, the Third—Wallingford for short—claims he was on his way to a big oceanography conference. Somehow he fell out of his plane into the pond near the Anderson's farm. As Eric and the exasperating Wallingford become friends, Eric's life gets crazier and crazier. Then mean Mr. Benson, who owns the pond, finds out about Wallingford. Can Eric save Wallingford? Will Wallingford ever leave that trout pond alive?"

I'm thinking Shia LaBeouf in the lead role as Eric Anderson and perhaps, oh let's just say Steve Buscemi as that Fast-Talking Dolphin. Come on, Hollywood, clearly if you have time to make Old Dogs, you can spare a million or so to make Fast-Talking Dolphin! Get to work, damnitt! Why not? I came across this gem on my tangerine-color painted childhood bookshelf in the attic. It's such a blatant Flipper meets Look Who's Talking rip-off that I can barely breathe. I've so many questions as to why this book came to be and, more importantly, WHY was I allowed to own it. And how exactly is he "Fast-talking" when the emphasis is clearly on the fact that he rhymes? Author Carson Davidson has a lot of explaining to do. Are there slower-talking, non-rhyming dolphins? Perhaps a Lethargic-Talking, Haiku Dolphin? I'd read THAT book. Just saying, Mr. Davidson. Here's a direct quote from that precocious fast-talking dolphin: "I don't care much for people—they talk all the time. What they say is a bore, and they can't even rhyme."

Up yours, Wallingford.